Understanding Editorials

Tips on Preparing for Marriage

There are several things you can do right now in preparation for your future life in marriage. Whether or not you’re in a serious relationship is not even an issue. The earlier you start working on yourself, the better.

Here are five steps to get you started:

Check your habits.

Do you have habits that you think might annoy or hurt your future spouse? For instance, do you have poor time management skills, or do you typically leave your dirty laundry lying around? If you’re not sure which habits you may have to change, ask your closest family members or friends to help you. But let them talk freely without fear of offending you. Enhance your conflict resolution methods. Take advantage of your single years in terms of defining your conflict resolution style and adjusting it where necessary. Recall the last two or three times you were in conflict with someone. How did you handle them? What do you think could you have done differently?

Be more forgiving of yourself.

Nobody’s perfect, even you, so learn to be more lighthearted about yourself and your mistakes. Begin with those tiny little frustrations, like forgetting where you put your car keys or mispronouncing certain words over and over. Instead of berating yourself, half a good laugh about it and move on. Accepting yourself for everything you are is liberating.

Seek ways to serve.

The strongest marriages are those made up of individuals who are ready to sacrifice for each other. While your single, you can learn to develop a sense of servanthood. Look for opportunities to serve your community or your local church. This could be babysitting for a single mom for free, or driving an elderly neighbor to her doctor’s appointment. If you make servanthood a constant part of your live today, it will come more naturally for you in marriage.

Have a friend inventory.

Finally, know that it’s important to have a support system that encourages you to become a good spouse later on. To know if you have such kind of friends, do a quick and easy friendship inventory. Begin by asking yourself a few questions. One, is marriage important to them? Two, are they respect their opposite gender? Three, are they brave enough to correct you when you’re wrong? It’s possible they don’t know themselves from this perspective. If you tell them that you need and value their support in some parts of your life, they may happily give it to you. Keep in mind that it’s not a mistake to choose your friends. It’s not wrong to want to be with people who will create a positive influence in your life.

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